CONTROL

The past shapes us. Our experiences are a big part of our perceptions and our actions in the present, which in time, become our past. These lived experiences and adventures narrated to us by our friends and family educate us, teach us, train us and give us the grit to deal with whatever the future might hold.

I often think about the person I was when I was just finishing college – very young, skinny, a bag full of ambition and opinions, with zero worldly knowledge but believing that I could do anything I set my mind to. For the most part, the blind belief in myself, no fear of the unknown, and no experience meant that I had no experience of rejection or failure. Whatever my limitations, I would meet them a few months, a few years down the line through friends, frenemies, flatmates, and work.

My world was and still is, very black and white – things either are, or they aren’t. It’s right, or it’s wrong. You either follow the rules, or you deal with the consequences. I sincerely believed in the invisible reward and punishment system that I was brought up to believe in. I believed that goodness bred good results, you’d reap what you’d sow etc. and I never thought too much about ‘Life’. Life was what was happening to me in the present. Life was what I was living every day, and my idea of a ‘life plan’ was just to be able to make decisions for myself, be in control of my life, and move the fuck out of my mother’s controlling home.

Don't confuse 'being in control' with 'being controlling'. The former provides a sense of purpose, direction and ensures that your best laid plans have a shot at being.

It’s interesting when I think about it now, years later – I wanted to be free of one person’s control, but I’ve evolved into a type A planner.

“We are the sum of all people we have ever met; you change the tribe and the tribe changes you.”

― Dirk Wittenborn, Fierce People

 

02 Dec, 2024